


Letters from Across the Breach

by Pookaseraph



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, M/M, Pining, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pookaseraph/pseuds/Pookaseraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 2013 after the first Kaiju attack, Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb began a correspondence. It took a few years for them to work out all the kinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters from Across the Breach

**[Skype Conversation Log between Hermann Gottlieb and Karla Gottlieb, dated 12/8/2013]**

Karlalalala: You got a letttttter. Seriously, a _letter_ , with paper and everything. Who does that?

Hermann Gottlieb: People who understand the merits of personalized communication even in this digital age. You mean Father got a letter.

Karla: Stop being grandpa old and get over here, and no, _you_. Apparently he's a huge fan of your seismic modeling from pre-Trespasser Pacific emissions. 

Hermann: I do not appreciate the sarcasm.

Karla: No. This guy's crazy smart, or just crazy, or both. Apparently he's working some sort of astrobiological angle. 

Hermann: Aliens. Great.

***

**[Letter from Dr. Newton Geiszler to Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, dated 11/30/2013]**

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb,

I read your article in the Oxford Journal of Topology with great interest, your work and your models are flawless and truly fascinating. Stray radio and seismic emissions from the Pacific dating back at least ten years is enough to make a lot of heads spin. The conclusion hasn't gotten much traction in the media, but your concern that this may only be the beginning of such Trespasser events cannot be ignored. Sadly, there is too much political pressure to ignore the event and move on.

I'm working a potential astrobiological angle to the Trespasser event (see attached International Journal of Astrobiology manuscripts, hopefully you will forgive the Cambridge affiliation), but in short the remains of the Trespasser that the CDC took possession of after the nuclear detonation show a profoundly alien biochemical makeup compared to any known terrestrial specimens.

The corrosive nature of the blood, and of course the nuclear detonation itself, made salvage difficult, but high concentrations of ammonia in the carcass remains, as well as careful examination of the droppings, has suggested a silicate physiology and perhaps an additional nitrogen-hydrogen basis. Although the potential for pathogens from the carcass is minimal, there are ecological ramifications to be considered as well.

But I digress, I was mostly writing to discuss the potential for confirmation of both the non-terrestrial origins of Trespasser, as well as the potential for a repeat of the Trespasser event. I'm also interested in a theoretical modeling of the topology of such a terrestrial/non-terrestrial space. My astrophysics is fairly rusty, and talk of wormholes is more likely to call to mind crappy (and not so crappy) science fiction rather than potential science fact, but I have stymied even in my collaborations with the CDC to get them to consider the potential medical ramifications of another Trespasser.

The medical side effects of the blue blood exposure on some of the San Francisco natives is truly horrific (see enclosed medical case study and CDC reports) and if the potential for a repeat event can be properly understood by various influential scientists and politicians we may be able to see a second event produce lesser devastation.

[...]

***

**[MIT Tech Talk article. Originally published 12/2004. Accessed by Hermann Gottlieb: 12/9/2013]**

At an age when most kids aren't even worried about who to take to prom, Newton Geiszler has become the second youngest student to ever attend MIT. He is pursuing his undergraduate degree in biology. The son of a piano tuner, Newton (or 'Newt' as he prefers to be called) still came by his interest in the sciences honestly.

"Well, my uncle is an electronics engineer, but I guess I've always loved biology more." Not that you would know it from his course load. "Well, organic chemistry, obviously, biology, some physics. I might take an astrophysics course or two next year. I want to take a musical composition course or two, but I have to see how it fits in my schedule."

If it sounds like a lot of work, it is, but Newt has already taken dozens of credit hours at Columbia University while still in high school, so he's no stranger to hard work. "My dad and my uncle worked hard to get me the opportunities I have. We moved all over when I was younger, Berlin, Amsterdam, Paris, before my uncle finally got a steady job in New York and we relocated when I was ten. I guess I owe it to them, right, to change the world?"

Why biology? "I used to fish a lot when I was younger, we'd go down to Lake Como for a job and my uncle would take me fishing. Biology, ecology, and all of that came naturally. My uncle was so disappointed I wasn't into computers. I said 'Uncle Illia, I'll run a PCR machine!' Apparently that's not the same, who knew?"

As to how a fourteen year old is fitting in among people four, and sometimes even seven, years his senior in his classes, Newt told me: "It's pretty great. Some of the teachers and TAs have really shown me the ropes."

Editor's Note: Newton Geiszler has since graduated with his bachelors in biology and completed his MD/PhD in Medicine and Astrobiology in April of 2013. Dr. Geiszler is now an Associate Professor at MIT, and frequent consultant with the United Nations, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Environmental Protection Agency, and the National Air and Space Administration.

***

**[Email exchange between Hermann Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler, dated 2/5/2014 - day of second Kaiju attack]**

I assure you it comes as no consolation that we were both correct in our warnings to various US and UN officials that there would be another event. I've already gone to work on several potential predictive models, and a made entreaties to attempt to locate the nexus that connects us to whatever world has spawned these monsters. The monster has been named 'Hundun', apparently a Chinese creature of primordial chaos, and the monsters themselves are now being called 'kaijus'. I assume you are aflutter with the nomenclature gaining traction.

If you have not already received an invitation from the Manila government, my mother has been tasked with creating a biological response team. Your work with the CDC places you in an invaluable position to assist.

I have heard nothing but dire reports from the site, so I would appreciate a more clear-headed assessment.

*

Somewhere between 'fucked' and 'hella fucked'. I realize that's not a precise unit of measurement, but the devastation here is crazy. From a biochem perspective, Hundun seems to have had similar properties to Trespasser, the Blue toxicity, the fecal contamination, and so on. I was able to get a few more samples this time, nothing profound, a small claw fragment that was left in some poor, unsuspecting building, but we might be able to begin some analysis on the DNA given that the claw didn't get nuked or sludged. Trespasser's skull's a nice set piece, but it didn't have a lot of workable material left after the rads.

I'm biting my tongue to not say 'haha I told you so' to that stupid little shit from the UN, though.

Met some cool dude helping with the clean up coordination, Lt. Stacker Pentecost. You know him?

*

He is the brother of Luna Pentecost, one of the pilots who was killed in the initial Trespasser assault. He has taken up the kaijus as Ahab took on his white whale. His dedication has helped make any headway at all with the UN and their response teams, you would do well to make nice with him.

*

I can be nice. Maybe. I think I can be nice. Rate my Professors says I can be nice.

***

**[Ratemyprofessors.com ratings for Dr. Newton Geiszler. Accessed by Hermann Gottlieb 2/17/2014]**

"Not an easy teacher, and he grades hard. He's smart, and obviously knows his stuff. He'll go off on occasional tangents, but they are always relevant to the material, and he brings the anecdote back into continuing the lecture. He's sometimes guilty of talking too fast during lectures, but makes up for it with lab time engagement. It should be illegal for a professor to be that adorable."

***

**[Email exchange between Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb, dated 2/18/2014]**

Siiiiilicone! Ugh. I was so right. Papers forthcoming, obviously, but I'll give you the sneak peek: the kaiju are definitely silicone based, ammonia/hydrogen blood/fluid/viscera, but no real progress on genotyping, or even figuring out how you would start to genotype them. I've been working with Viv Hess, my former adviser, and she's brilliant, but we're both running up against a wall on this.

Rumor I heard from one of the cleanup crew is it that Lt. Pentecost is rabble-rousing for some sort of commission to handle the kaiju threat. No one wants to accept that he (WE!!) are right, so he's probably not going to get very far.

How do you feel about a little abstract or _whatever_? Just something to make it clear that we have at least a small contingent to believe the extraterrestrial angle, and the idea that this won't be the end of the threat. You can be first author. I should have enough peer-reviewed results in the next two months to not make me look like Fox Mulder when we write about aliens.

You can be my Scully. Did you hear they're making a new movie?

*

Sadly there is very little new information for me to bring given that the Manila event seismic activity was confounded by the storm. It would be largely conjecture on my end.

Of course you would be a fan of the X-Files. I fail to see how that's important in the wake of potential potential global catastrophe, though.

*

I can do both!

And I've got some buddies at NOAA, lemmie see if I can get you some more data so you can maybe pull the storm information out of the kaiju information and work with that.

*

The data you requested has arrived, and I will likely be able to pull out meteorological data and attempt to isolate the seismic activity related to Hundun. Thank you, Dr. Geiszler.

*

Please, you know you're supposed to call me Newt. Only my mother calls me 'Doctor'.

*

I'm not certain you've mentioned her before.

*

Nice segue.

I wouldn't have mentioned her if I didn't want to mention her. She... she's not around, anymore. I was raised by my dad and my uncle, she was too busy touring. She still tours. Even when she was in NYC it's not like she stopped by.

So she calls me 'Doctor'. I guess I have this thing where 'Doctor' is for people who don't know me, yaknow?

*

I suppose in a family of doctors one grows used to requiring the marker of status in order to be measured as an equal, no matter how infrequently one is measured that way. There's no harm in you calling me Hermann, when we are not being exposed to the idiocy of others.

*

Not like I don't call you that already. I think Viv's going to tear my hair out if I keep up with the 'Hermann said this' and 'Hermann said that'. I'll send you some preliminaries when I have them. Sadly there's not enough to sequence, or do some DNA analysis. There _were_ reports of some sort of small parasites that live on the kaiju and they might be less biological waste weapons.

I hate to say 'next time', but I think we both know there will be one, and the more prepared we are, the better.

***

**[Email exchange between Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb, dated 6/1/2014 - day of third Kaiju attack]**

On my way to Cabo.

*

Are you alright, Newton? I heard that half of the city was destroyed in the nuclear blast. It cannot be a pretty sight.

*

Fit as a fiddle. I have a radiation suit and everything.

*

Fine, ignore the question. Have you made any further progress?

*

I'm not _ignoring_. Thankfully we were able to use some of the counter-agents Vivian and I have been developing to keep the carcass from decomposing as quickly. That means it didn't turn into a huge puddle of alkaline goo until we were out to sea and things. There seems to be the start of a black market for the organs and parts and things. It might be a blessing, because disposal of the remains is a major financial burden.

Of course, it also means that when I went out through La Paz I was being offered kaiju teeth - knock offs, and real - to buy to enhance anything I wanted. I'm fairly sure the things will make it into the market sooner or later.

*

That seems highly dangerous to ingest the remains of a silicone and ammonia based organism. Perhaps one of your American regulatory agencies could take a position against the sale of kaiju remains.

*

I think you over-estimate their ability regulate anything right now. People have just hit the 'holy shit we're all going to die' phase of their panic. Making a quick buck on parts profiteering is low on their list of things to care about.

And I resent that. I'm German. I was born in Berlin.

*

Your vernacular speaks of formative years in the United States, I consider your diction permanently polluted for it.

*

I always hear it in some sort of stuffy British accent when you say something like that.

*

I did go to boarding school in England.

*

HA! I was so right.

***

**[Text message conversation between Hermann and Karla Gottlieb, 9/15/2014 - day of Seoul Conference]**

K: Where's your boyfriend?  
H: He is not my boyfriend.  
K: Only because you haven't seen him long enough to do something nasty with him.  
H: And he is not here. His uncle had a heart attack and he is in New York. I promised I would let him know any important developments.  
K: Ouch. Sorry.  
H: I have already sent my condolences, but my understanding is that Illia is likely to recover. His attentions are split because of that.  
K: That's good, but it's too bad, I wanted to meet him.  
H: I did as well.  
K: I don't think you and I had the same designs when it came to meeting him.  
H: Shut up.  
K: Did you know he consistently scores between 4 and 5 chili peppers on ratemyprofessors.com?  
H: Stop typing. I am trying to pay attention.

***

**[Email exchange between Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb, dated 10/3/2014]**

Jaegers, Man. Who picked the name? Illia's home and he's up and walking again, taking it slow. I wanted to take a proper sabbatical but I really didn't have the time. It's bad enough for my students that I swan off for a week after a kaiju attack. Dad and Illia are up visiting, so I'll be a bit slower to respond. How was Seoul? I was looking forward to drinks and picking your brain.

Viv was there. She's thankfully a second author on a few of my papers, but she said afterwards she really wished I was there.

I'm allowed to have unflattering thoughts about the timing of my uncle's heart attack, right? That's only a little horrible.

Can you imagine what it would be like to pilot a mecha large enough to take on a kaiju? I'm giddy just thinking about it. Any insider information?

*

The name was chosen by my mother, she, my father, and Dr. Schoenfeld were all quite close in college and they continue to be. I'm glad to hear your uncle is well again. Seoul was difficult. There were thousands of ideas and I am afraid to say that very few of them had merit. I am tied to the Jaeger Program by blood, it seems, and will be doing much of the preliminary coding for the 'Mark I' - hopefully the first of many. Dr. Hess was able to do justice to your own ideas and work with her, so hopefully you will also receive some funding for your continued pursuit of the biological options to use against the kaijus.

I suppose it is slightly horrible, but I find myself lamenting that this has thrown me into working with my father. He is... a difficult man to please, and even with Schoenfeld and Mother in the mix I think we will fight constantly. It's not a dynamic I enjoy. So if you are horrible, it is an affliction we share.

I regret that we were unable to meet. As you said, I was eager to pick your brain as well.

*

Rough. Ugh, family. Don't get me wrong, I love Dad and Illia, but sometimes you just can't. I always feel distant from them. Part of it's probably... stuff, but the rest is this brain thing. At least your family's full of mega-geniuses. Illia's brilliant, but I was running circles around him when I was seven.

I guess I've only met one person who I really feel _gets_ me. Yeah, I'm sometimes off the cuff, and I can keep lectures at the right level for an undergrad audience, but that's not the same as just feeling you can say anything and the other person just goes with it and...

I'm rambling.

I'm sure that's a surprise.

Hopefully your mom and Schoenfeld can keep the worst of the dad crap off your back.

*

But your ramblings are always full of such modesty, Newton.

I suppose you mean Dr. Hess? Your advisor. You always speak of her with a great deal of fondness and she seemed to be well-acquainted with all of your theories at Seoul.

*

For a genius you can be a little obtuse, _Hermann_.

It's nothing, just thinking about family. Stuff. I think everything with the kaiju sort of puts it all in perspective. I'm used to going a mile a minute, so when I slow down to a kilometer I guess I get philosophical.

Send pics once you get the robot smashing up and running. I'm excited.

***

**[Excerpts from select conversations 10/4/2014 - 2/12/2017]**

K: I want to club you over the head and mail you to MIT. I might even put a bow on you first.

*

[...] Chalk that up as one more guy who doesn't understand me. Breakups suck. [...]

*

[...] The complexity of the Mark III mechanics seem to have tilted some sort of cost-benefit analysis on someone's bank balance. I don't think we can really put a price tag on survival, but I've begun to explore alternatives. Your input would be invaluable, as I have no one else who understands the problem the way you do. [...]

*

[...] should decrease fatalities from Blue exposure by rescue workers. It's an inoculation, actually. I'm going to recommend we start trials on previously exposed workers, since their rates of cancer are intense compared to baseline. Not a good way to treat our rescue workers. [...]

*

[...] I apologize for the delayed response. I have been... unwell, but I hope to re-tackle the matter of Breach penetration. [...]

*

[...] Did you see that asshole's response?! Of course you did, you wrote an authorial rebuttal. What a dick. Glad it was you, not me, I would have just written 'Lrn2Science' and I'm pretty sure that's frowned on in the scientific community. [...]

*

K: I swear, Hermann, you are driving me crazy. Either stop pining or _do something_.

*

[...] I seem to find myself with an invitation to speak with some mathematicians and applied physicists at Harvard. I will start to think you're avoiding me if we can't manage to meet this time. Coffee? [...]

***

**[Skype Conversation Log between Hermann Gottlieb and Karla Gottlieb, dated 2/20/2017]**

H: Never meet your heroes.  
K: AHHHHH! What now?! If he made a rude comment...  
H: No, no, nothing like that. The man didn't even seem to recognize that I needed a cane. He just... looked right through it. When we were walking he has this terrifying habit of circling me like some sort of manic satellite.  
K: So... what's wrong?  
H: He was... _insufferable_. He... he... I do not think there are words to describe how unappealing he is. He chatters constantly, talked over me, he is disgustingly egotistical about his education, so completely sure he is right, posturing... He is an imbecile.  
K: Ugh. I'm sorry. He gets such good communication ratings on rate my professors too...  
H: Well clearly they are too idiotic to realize they are being talked down to, or are snowed by his boyish good looks.  
K: Super cute?  
H: He would be more aesthetically appealing if he weren't displaying a repulsive amount of ink in the form of kaiju tattoos. I always knew he _had_ them, but I suppose I thought they were more modestly sized, not something that dominated his entire arm, and very likely his entire body. He was even in the process of having older dragon tattoos removed to accommodate future _kaiju_ tattoos. The man cannot even commit to tattoos!  
K: And so here you are.  
H: Yes. I am staring at the minibar of my hotel room.  
K: Don't do that. Sigh. I'm sorry. You two just... seemed to really connect. I don't need to tell you that, I know, but I was excited for you to meet him. You don't... you don't usually have friends.  
H: I'm well aware.  
K: Listen to me. I'm telling you how much it sucks that the guy you totally had a crush on is an egotistical tool. You need to get smashed? I'm sure I can find some booze around here somewhere and commiserate.  
H: No, thank you. How about some progress reports?  
K: Now you're going to make me want to drink.

***

**[Text message conversation between Newton Geiszler and Vivian Hess, dated 2/20/2017]**

N: He hated me.  
V: What am I going to do with you?  
N: Usually you tell me to shut up and not come back until I've ran it over in my head at least twelve times, but I already did that.  
V: So now I will sit through the ramble. Hit me.  
N: I don't know. He just didn't give me anything. We go back and forth like 400 times a day, and in person he was just... a rock.  
N: A sort of froggy faced rock.  
N: But sort of cute? I guess? Like I'm not gonna say 'classically attractive', but I'd hit it.  
V: You would hit the broad side of a barn.  
N: Well, yes, he was just so... awkward.  
N: Yes.  
N: Yes. I realize how ridiculous it is to call someone else awkward, but he was awkward. I couldn't... get anything?  
V: I'm not getting 'hate' from that.  
N: I invited him to dinner.  
N: He said he was going to go to his room and review his lecture notes.  
V: Ouch.

***

**[Excerpts from select messages addressed to Newton Geiszler from Hermann Gottlieb, dated 5/16/2017 - 2/28/2020 - Never Sent]**

Although I am loathe to admit it, I could use your help on a problem of some import. That is to say that I do not _require_ your help, but... I don't _think_ as well when I'm not being challenged by you. Father has started to flag in his commitment to the Jaeger program, he is looking for other options and if we may find ourselves in the sunset of the Jaeger development.

It has strained my parents' marriage. My sister and younger brother have both moved to America - east coast, of course - and even though Karla is in New York, I find myself loathe to visit.

I am distressed to need your input, but we have so little time. The attack on the breach was unsuccessful, for some reason we could not penetrate it and I am... I am at wit's end.

I wish... well it does not matter. I write you far too often and never send what I have done. In my more melancholy moments I accept that we could have changed the world.

Your work in Lima has been flawless.

And you are still an insufferable idiot.

*

There is this Russian Jaeger pair. You've probably heard of them, the Kaidonovskys. That is to say they will soon be the Kaidonovskys and I was invited to their wedding.

I often wonder what it would be like to be so compatible with another human being. Some find themselves repulsed by Drift technology, others enchanted. I had the opportunity to speak to Dr. Caitlin Lightcap about her experiences in the Drift - as a scientist I trusted her assessment more than many of the military personnel.

She described it as being so wrapped up in another human being that you do not know where they end and you begin. I think that is terrifying. I suppose it is also alluring.

It makes me wonder idiotic, impossible things.

*

Some of these Jaeger pilots remind me of being in High School all over again. I'd ask if you remember how that felt, but then I recall that you were in college at the time. You are disgustingly precocious.

***

**[Email exchange between Hermann Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler, dated 3/1/2020]**

The loss of Gipsy Danger, and one of her pilots has started rumblings within the UN that the Jaeger program is not financially feasible. The idea of a wall, spanning the entire coast, in conjunction with evacuation plans is being heavily considered.

Past differences aside, I think we can agree that this idea is suicide. My father, however, has become more conservative in his old age and appears poised to agree to the plan.

I tell you this only because we _must_ work together to end this. I am relocating to the Hong Kong Shatterdome nearest the Breach to continue my work, and all K-Science funds will soon be sent there. It is my father's only concession to familial harmony.

*

Supervising cleanup from Knifehead.

Make sure you have lots of vats for kaiju bits.

I'll pack up my lucky PCR machine.

*

Please don't make me regret this, Dr. Geiszler.

***

**[Text message conversation between Newton Geiszler and Vivian Hess, dated 3/1/2020]**

Newt: _Dr. Geiszler_. Shit. Apparently we're at mother level of friendship now.  
V: It has been 3 years, Newt, maybe things have changed.

***

**[Text message conversation between Newton Geiszler and Vivian Hess, dated 3/21/2020]**

N: Noooope.

***

**[Text message conversation between Newton Geiszler and Vivian Hess, dated 6/9/2020]**

Newt: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.  
Vivian: Newt, I'm a woman, not Catholic, you're not Catholic, and what on Earth did you do?  
N: I slept with Hermann.  
V: I was there for your gay freakout when you were fifteen. I know you're not worried about that aspect. You've also subjected me to the thousands of ways you wanted to debauch him since you two started talking.  
N: YES! But I... you know how much I suck at this stuff. I usually at least like the person first before I sleep with them. We hate each other!  
V: You're complicated.  
N: Okay, no. I don't hate him. I like him a lot. But he hates me! He looked at me and he said 'I don't know why I used to find you attractive', and then I invited him to make something of it.  
V: I don't need the cyber blow-by-blow, especially if there are blows. I did know you when you were fourteen.  
N: It's going to get _worse_ , Viv. I poison every relationship I touch. The only people who stick with me are Dad and Illia! You're the only person who beats him on a non-familial tie with someone I still speak to.  
V: Just... just try to...  
N: Not be myself?  
V: Newt, you...  
N: Suck at relationships.  
V: You thrive on drama. Everything is the end of the world.  
N: KAIJU!  
V: Just try to dial it back a little bit, and if he breaks your heart I'll rip his balls off.  
N: You're the best. Why did I ever graduate?  
V: Don't torture me with thoughts of advising you again, just go save the world.

***

**[Skype Conversation Log between Hermann Gottlieb and Karla Gottlieb, dated 6/9/2020]**

Karla: Happy birthday, baby brother!  
Hermann: nnnghhhhh!  
K: Hungover enough to eschew grammar.  
H: No, simply reveling in my own stupidity and being well and truly into my thirties now.  
K: Yeah, yeah, cry me a river.  
H: I have made a terrible mistake.  
K: ... is this a time for continued sarcasm or is this serious?  
H: Dr. Geiszler and I slept together.  
K: ...  
H: Thank you for that.  
K: So... uh... mistake? Selfish and crappy in bed?  
H: It was fine.  
K: 'Fine'  
H: Alright, no, it was fantastic. I yelled at him, he yelled at me, I insulted his shirt, I said I had no idea why I found him attractive.  
K: LALALA no more details.  
H: The end results were far better than anticipated.  
K: And you had been anticipating...  
H: Shut up.  
K: Do you want me to listen to my brother talk about hatefucking his frenemy or do you want me to shut up?  
H: Learn some different vernacular, I can't deal with this today.  
K: So... one off? No pun intended.  
H: We've already moved beyond that.  
K: In the last... 36 hours? Damn. Ah... coworkers with benefits?  
H: Karla, he is the most insufferable man I have ever met, he has no idea how to engage with another human being on any but the most basic of levels, and I find myself humming that Buckcherry song that you will not get me to admit I know the words to in my mind at this point.  
K: But you feel... good?  
H: Other than the intense self-loathing.  
K: Whatever, you're not Catholic, Mother doesn't even know how to do Jewish guilt, just science guilt. I say go for it.  
H: Why do I listen to you?  
K: Because I am older and wiser and you need to get laid.  
H: So you keep telling me. It's a thesis I have not yet seen empirically proven, other than the older part.

***

**[Skype Conversation Log between Karla Gottlieb and Hermann Gottlieb, dated 9/9/2020]**

K: Hey, you're crazy, bitch!  
H: Don't remind me.  
K: Sorry, it's just you've somehow been more relaxed _and_ more tense the last few months.  
H: Yes.  
K: ... Fine. I'll just be over here solving the mechanical issue you sent on the arm joints of the Mark IV joints while you stew in self loathing.  
H: Newton is taking me to dinner, as it is our three month anniversary and he somehow remembered this.  
K: Someone's getting laid tonight!  
H: Go away. I have math to do. Email me when you've figured out the joint issue. The Wei triplets are eager for a fix.

***

**[Text message conversation between Newton Geiszler and Vivian Hess, dated 12/9/2020]**

N: AHHHHHHHHHH!  
V: Stop that.  
N: Six months!  
V: Yes, I'm far more aware of this than I have any right to be.  
N: We are literally the fourth longest relationship I've ever had.  
V: And one of those three was Rory, so it hardly counts.  
N: AHHHHHHHHHH!  
V: Newt.  
N: His ex-girlfriend is visiting.  
N: I mean, he said 'Newton, my friend is visiting. We were previously in a relationship so I would appreciate if you did not...'  
N: He didn't even finish the thought!  
N: I mean.  
N: SHE'S HOT!  
N: Hotter than me hot.  
V: She might be almost as modest as you are.  
N: And I just keep thinking that Hermann is the person I've been closest to in my entire life, and he's spending our six month anniversary out with someone who is prettier than me who he used to sleep with.  
N: What if he sleeps with her?  
N: What if I find out?  
N: What if he doesn't apologize and I forgive him anyway because I'm... me?  
V: Newt, salvation of the world notwithstanding, I will fly to Hong Kong and castrate him if he does.  
N: How do normal people do this?  
V: It's not like it's easy. Try not to make it more complicated, though. You do that with personal problems.  
N: My birthday is in a few weeks  
V: I did already get you something.  
N: No, no I'm not gift baiting, I just...  
V: I get it.  
N: Did you get me clothes? I could use some clothes.  
V: Go back to being an emotionally vulnerable teenager in the body of a 30 year old. I deal with that much better. I'm used to that.

***

**[Skype Conversation Log between Hermann Gottlieb and Karla Gottlieb, dated 1/17/2021]**

H: I'm fairly certain I'm in love with that idiot.  
K: Sure you can't reevaluate?  
H: You are the one who threatened to mail me to MIT wrapped in a bow years ago, you can hardly take back the fact that you had initially hoped that I would end up with him.  
K: Sure but he... you're always so grudging about it. That can't be healthy.  
H: It's _not_! I'm simply confronted with the fact that I do care for him, I do love him, he is the most intelligent man I have ever met, we connect and our ideas spark against each other. We make each other better, we...  
K: You...?  
H: I am at my best with him. Perhaps I am also at my worst, but I am at my best, and that is all that matters, especially with the world poised to burn.  
K: So you're fucking him for science.  
H: No, I... I am with him because he... we are a perfect fit. I have decided to end it between us.  
K: You make no sense. You know that, right?  
H: The emotion, the sexual, it is a distraction, and the anxiety I spend on him is not an acceptable price to pay. We will work together. That is all.  
K: I wish you two could just...  
H: I do, too, Karla. We could be incredible, but we do hold each other back, and I think it is because of the romantic entanglement.  
K: You know you best, I guess.  
H: His birthday is in two days, I will... wait a month or two as I decide how to best disentangle us.  
K: No saving it?  
H: I... I don't know.

***

**[Letter from Hermann Gottlieb to Newton Geiszler, dated 3/12/2021, left for him on the dissection table - which Hermann took great pains to disinfect beforehand]**

Newton,

I love you.

The above sentiment took significant force of will to put to paper, and yet there it is, in black and white. I felt it necessary to place to paper before I wrote the rest of this letter. If you know nothing else, know that I do admire you, I do see the brilliance and the fire and the passion you bring to every breath, and I am in love with those parts of you.

I can no longer deny that as much as I am invigorated by our relationship, I am also drained by it. My health has been strained of late. (You're aware of this, far too intimately as I think you enjoy interjecting yourself in my medical problems.) My doctors have advised me to limit my stress, although in truth that's a difficult proposition given the fate of the world.

We have always fought. If I must be honest, I will admit I enjoy it. We are so diametrically opposed and yet we compliment each other. It seems so mundane, but it is those mundane things that continue to drag. You fight with me over my own relationship with my own father, even though your relationship with your mother is even more strained. You fight to keep the toilet seat up even though I _require_ it down for my own safety. I know it seems petty, but I do not want to fight with you, Newton... or I do, but not about these minutia in the face of what we must confront.

I want what we had so many years ago. I want the distance that allowed us to connect on the cerebral and not grate, not try each other, not... what we have.

I... I hate to think of this as an ultimatum, or a break up, but I suppose if one must categorize it, that is what it is. I cannot handle _us_ , Newton, not as we are, not any longer.

I'm sorry.

I do love you. I do not think I have ever loved anyone more. I do not think I have ever connected with someone so intimately. That does not transcend all, however, and I'm afraid I must withdraw.

I hope we can continue to work together, as professionals, for the duration.

Yours,

Hermann.

***

**[Sticky note left on Hermann Gottlieb's chalkboard, 3/14/2021]**

Can I try?

***

**[Skype Conversation Log between Hermann Gottlieb and Karla Gottlieb, dated 6/9/2021]**

K: How's 33 treating you, baby brother?  
H: Sorry. He's in the bathroom -NG  
K: Some people would just, you know, not answer his Skype messages.  
H: Well I didn't want you to think he was ignoring you? Also I have no boundaries, pretty sure Hermann would have told you that?  
K: Yes. I'm well aware. Did you do something nice for his birthday?  
H: I got him _awesome_ coffee, delicious, delicious coffee. I will have you know that was like four weeks' rations, too.  
K: I'm sure he appreciated that.  
H: You know, people always assume that I'd be into coffee and he'd like tea, but it's completely the other way around. Whatever.  
K: It always made me laugh, too. How... how are you and Hermann? It's rare I get anything particularly concrete from him.  
H: Good. Stressed. Obviously your dad's making all our lives miserable. We should be launching the Mark VI, instead we're trying to patch up the Vs. Hermann's crankier than usual.  
K: I guess I should add 'happy anniversary' to you?  
H: Well... yaknow, It's sort of barely been three months, in a way. Besides, I think Hermann likes our anniversary to be pi day rather than his birthday. No dataspace collisions.  
K: That's cute. You two are... I want to meet you, someday.  
H: I'd invite you to Hong Kong, but I'm trying to do that thing where I actually consider Hermann's feelings, so I'll let him make the invitation. Hang on, he's coming back.  
K: Alright.  
H: I see you have finally captured the elusive Newton Geiszler.  
K: You too, apparently?  
H: And thirty-three is treating me fine, thank you.  
K: Nice dodge. Are you happy?  
H: Very much so. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have the other half of my birthday present to collect.  
K: TMI, baby bro, TMI.


End file.
